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Vinnie's
Football Shorts
Producer/Director:
June - August 2002
(1
x 60 mins)
Carlton Production for BSkyB (Sky One)
This
archive-based special for Sky One was hosted by Vinnie Jones and
received the first of its many transmissions on 29th September 2002
at 9pm.
From
the seedy environs of his "club" (in reality, the Rivoli
Ballroom in Brockley) Vinnie linked together packages of talking head
interviews, intercut with a wealth of classic football-related film
and TV commercials. The aim was to outline the methods used by
advertisers to make us buy their products. For example, in order to
appeal to every possible consumer they cast every archetype from
"hard men" like Vinnie to "sex gods" like
Beckham, "lad messiahs" like Wright and Giggsy to "boys
next door" like Owen.
The
programme contained clips from 47 adverts, made from 1946 right up
to 2002, including some of those shown opposite. Many have become
infamous for their cheesy soundtracks or the dodgy acting
performances on display. Others have become popular advertising classics.
For
example, Paul Gascoigne shedding tears over his Salt and Lineker
crisps, John Barnes replenishing his precious bodily fluids with an
isotonic drink, Eric Cantona making continental public transport
sound as sophisticated as a Left Bank café and Michael Owen
narrowly missing being crushed by a falling lorry. Then there's Terry
Venables taking delivery of a cake from Bobby Robson and Graham
Taylor, and the schoolboy who drank milk because Ian Rush said it
would make him good enough to play for Accrington Stanley.
In
addition to Vinnie Jones, the programme featured guest appearances
by Gary Lineker, Les Ferdinand, John Barnes, Keith Allen, Graham
Taylor, Jimmy Hill, Kirsty Gallacher, Jo Guest, Gabby Logan, Paul
Ross, Rhona Cameron, Leilani, Ed Hall, Keith Duffy, Hear'Say, the
Evening Standard sports journalist Kate Battersby, Radio 1 DJ Emma B,
and Paul Hawksbee and Andy Jacobs from Talk Sport AM.
The
show was based on a proposal entitled The Big Pitch, conceived in
Spring 2002 by football expert Graham McOwan and TV producer Cillian
de Buitlear, who brought the idea to Carlton. As with Kirsty's Home
Videos, Sky required a glib new title to explain exactly the show's
content. Vinnie's Football Shorts was my suggestion, with Vinnie's
Football Ads the substitute! |